Grief and Loss Protocol
Specific Protocols
In this therapy session between Dr. Ken (clinician) and Dr. Julie (client), the conversation revolves around Julie’s current struggles with depression, sadness, and feelings of abandonment. Julie initially discusses her recent emotional challenges, mentioning that she had previously sought help with Dr. Ken around the time her mother was sick, and her mother eventually passed away about six years ago.
The primary focus of Julie’s current distress centers on her granddaughter, Susie, who recently turned 10. Julie expresses overwhelming anxiety about what might happen to Susie if she were to die, drawing parallels to her own experiences when her grandmother died when she was also 10. She shares memories of her grandmother’s importance in her life, including bonding over food, learning to cook, and the significance of scarves. Julie reveals that her feelings of grief for her grandmother were never fully addressed or processed, as her family discouraged revisiting the past.
Dr. Ken guides Julie in exploring her grandmother’s secure attachment circle, helping her visualize the supportive elements in her grandmother’s life, such as friends, community, the church, and pets. This exercise aims to offer Julie comfort by realizing that her grandmother had her own sources of support.
As the conversation progresses, Dr. Ken encourages Julie to connect with her own secure attachment circle, including her 10-year-old self, and reassures the younger Julie that her grandmother was not alone in her final moments. Dr. Ken suggests inviting Susie into the secure attachment circle, and the exercise brings a sense of relief to the 10-year-old Julie, who becomes aware that she is not alone and has a network of support.
Dr. Julie visualizes her grandma providing reassurance to her emotional self, enabling a return to the 10-year-old. This visualization serves as a catalyst for the emotional and physical selves to reconnect.
Acknowledging the 10-year-old’s loneliness, Dr. Ken works with Dr. Julie to highlight the potential for support, alleviating the sense of isolation.
Dr. Julie visualizes the perspective of her grandma, granting permission for the 10-year-old to let go, fostering a collective sense of security.
Moving forward, Dr. Ken directs Dr. Julie to visualize the emotional and physical selves embracing, inducing a state of calmness and relief.
Introducing the element of music, Dr. Ken suggests grandma’s singing as a means to further connect the emotional and physical selves, using music as a unifying force. The session progresses with a focus on security, culminating in a feeling of calmness and relief for Dr. Julie’s 10-year-old self.
Dr. Ken emphasizes the importance of separation and individual secure circles, relieving Dr. Julie of solely caring for her grandma.
The session concludes with Dr. Julie recognizing the positive changes in her 10-year-old self, experiencing a profound sense of peace, love, and connection. The previously dominant feelings of abandonment, sadness, and depression dissipate.
Reflecting on her journey, Dr. Julie realizes her newfound capacity to be a grandma without constant worry for her granddaughter (Susie). Her 10-year-old self is now whole and healthy.
Dr. Ken reinforces the idea that Dr. Julie can return to simply playing and enjoying moments with Susie, appreciating the significant progress achieved during the session.
The session concludes with expressions of gratitude from Dr. Julie, who has gained a deeper understanding of her emotional dynamics and Julie is feeling a sense of relaxation and relief, having acknowledged and visualized her own secure attachment circle and recognizing the intergenerational impact of her unresolved grief.