Key Interventions

In this therapy session, Dr. Ken is working with Dr. Julie, the client, focusing specifically on Julie’s attachment agreements. Julie shares about her week, her experiences, and the challenges she faced. The session delves into Julie’s journaling about the agreements, beliefs, and losses she discovered, particularly related to her family, parents, and past relationships. 

Julie reflects on her attachment agreements with her mother, realizing that they were promises she made to herself to maintain sanity in her relationship with her mother. These agreements included promises not to be weak, submissive, or silent. She also discusses her multiple marriages, her role as a submissive wife, and the conflict between her promises and her actual choices. 

Dr. Ken explores the significant impact of these agreements on Julie’s life, uncovering more profound layers of meaning and connections to her family dynamics. They discuss Julie’s agreements regarding men and relationships, highlighting the tension between becoming like her mother and fearing loneliness. Julie feels overwhelmed and frustrated with herself for repeating patterns she swore not to follow.

The session progresses to examining the role of Julie’s father and the agreements she made about men not being safe. Ken emphasizes the importance of understanding these agreements as survival mechanisms created by the eight-year-old Julie to navigate her challenging family dynamics.

As the session unfolds, Dr. Ken introduces the concept of attachment blueprints and anchors, explaining how Julie’s agreements serve as anchors for safety. He guides Julie toward recognizing that she now has options and introduces the idea of using her secure self as an alternative to relying on the old attachment agreements.

The session concludes with Dr. Ken mentioning their plan to explore attachment circles and work on neural pruning to address the memories associated with Julie’s attachment agreements. The goal is to provide Julie with new tools and perspectives to move forward and break free from the constraints of her childhood agreements.