APP #3 – Mother
Attachment Processing Process
In this session, Dr. Ken is conducting Attachment Process Processing (APP) with Dr. Julie. They are processing the attachment blueprint incident involving Julie’s sister Louise. Julie shares her experiences from her recent trip to Mexico, reflecting on her interactions with family members and the impact on her understanding of her mother’s life.
As the session progresses, Julie discusses her improved ability to connect with her secure self and navigate moments of anxiety. She mentions her realization of the connection between her body sensations and emotional experiences. Julie also acknowledges her changing perspective on her habitual response to fix and rescue others, realizing that she doesn’t need to do that anymore.
Dr. Ken explores Julie’s tendency to overly help others and discusses her discoveries in connecting with her attachment circle and secure self. They delve into Julie’s recent experiences, including observations during a family meal and the internal shifts she has noticed.
The focus then shifts to processing the attachment blueprint incident related to Julie’s sister Louise. Dr. Ken guides Julie through visualizing the incident, creating secure attachment circles for each family member, and inviting supportive figures into those circles.
In the visualization, they explore Julie’s mother’s perspective during a traumatic incident where Julie and Louise were in their room crying, and their father was yelling. Julie’s secure self helps her understand that her mother’s silence was a protective response to prevent the situation from escalating further.
The session unfolds with Julie witnessing and comprehending her mother’s fear and the support available to her through her own secure self, ancestors, a trusted neighbor, and even a beloved dog. Dr. Ken helps Julie recognize the strength in her mother’s silence and the ways she sought to care for her children despite appearing distant.
As the visualization progresses, Julie’s eight-year-old self begins to understand that she didn’t have to take on the role of the caregiver for her family. Her mother’s secure self expresses regret for not being able to communicate this earlier and reassures Julie that she doesn’t have to mother everyone anymore.
Julie experiences a profound shift in perception, realizing that her mother’s actions were a form of protection, not abandonment. She acknowledges her mother’s inner strength and gains a new perspective on her own role in the family dynamics.
The session concludes with Dr. Ken inviting Julie’s mother and her secure self to offer additional reassurances to the eight-year-old, addressing the compensatory behaviors that Julie had adopted. The goal is to provide comfort and healing for the younger version of Julie who felt abandoned and responsible for everyone’s well-being.